|
During a wedding ceremony a woman gives her heart, her love, her “everything” to another person. This profound offering comes from the depth of her body, the essence of her being, the fiber of her soul. In fact, she places her faith, hope, happiness and sometimes health in a yet-to-be-fulfilled dream by marrying a chosen, special person. She stakes her future and a least a portion of her life’s purpose on this union. She gives her all.
Wedding vows are perhaps the deepest, most meaningful heart-promise between two people. Our current divorce rate stands at about 50% which means at least half of us are walking around with broken hearts. Even when divorce is desired and the best and wisest choice for a woman, her heart will still be broken. Why? Because when we give our heart to a dream of lasting love and the dream breaks down, something inside us breaks down as well.
Different women call this “something” by different names, such as confidence, self-image, self-esteem, desirability, or hope, to name only a few. Sometimes women feel like they’re terrible failures as though the relationship could’ve been “saved” if they were somehow different…smarter, prettier, more organized, a better cook, and on and on. Very often there is a hint of this self criticism even when a woman knows she absolutely gave the relationship her best and that she did nothing “wrong.”
This is because of the power of a vow. A vow arises from the deepest part of any given moment, an absolute and eternal commitment of the heart. The past and the future both have duration – they belong to Time. The present cannot be measured; it is a space between past and future. The present is where time dissolves and eternity lives. Diving into this space with an open heart and with passions flowing creates a powerful energetic cord between two people. This bond cannot be broken or dissolved by a divorce decree.
Even if a woman wanted her divorce she may have trouble moving on with her life. She may not feel genuinely free. She may “hang on” to anger or grief, become depressed, or just have trouble “feeling like herself” again. Women may even self medicate with food or alcohol, or jump quickly into another relationship to ease their pain.
This is why a Disavowing Ceremony is so useful, healing, freeing, practical and necessary. Most ceremonies are simple and can be done privately with an individual woman. Some women prefer a group setting with her friends and/or family members present. Ceremonies create sacred testament to a woman’s deep capacity to love and her need to release herself and her ex-partner so she can move forward in wholeness and joy. |
